


I've got this friend who makes me feel

by Yresim



Category: Nirvana (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Original Character Death(s), Other, POV First Person, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26417479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yresim/pseuds/Yresim
Summary: Your extreme emotionality, covered with a mask of rebellion and aggressiveness, causes an inexplicable desire to carefully take care of you.
Relationships: Kurt Cobain/Dave Grohl
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. We'll share what's lost and what we grew

We met quite recently, but you have already managed to conquer me with your interesting personality.

I love your angelic blue eyes incredibly, they clearly reflect all the variety of your emotions. When your penetrating gaze slowly drowns in my suppressed, all your fussing tenderness is transmitted and your incredibly accurate sensitivity is revealed in relation to the personal experiences of others. I could never even imagine such a vulnerable and careful attitude to other people's feelings, but at the same time, if you cast a carefree glance from the other side, the most ordinary person.

Your psychological type and character traits, formed by difficult experiences from childhood, just drive me extraordinarily crazy. Your funny and insane to some extent behavior does not scare you away from your real and living set of vivid emotions, but on the contrary, only arouses inhuman interest, forcing you to always wonder about your distant past.

Your extreme emotionality, covered with a mask of rebellion and aggressiveness, causes an inexplicable desire to carefully take care of you. Take care of you like a loving mother would take care of her own little child.  
In addition to your inner sadness and heavy thoughts that you have to patiently carry inside yourself, your appearance speaks for itself and only makes the feeling of insecurity and a certain weakness stronger. In your understanding eyes, in your languid state there is some unknown mystery, the solution of which I so want to find.

And so, right now, you are carefully studying my face, trying to understand what I am thinking so deeply. You gently straighten your light greasy strand of hair with a bony hand so that it does not interfere at all. This makes me start to look at your appearance with the same meticulousness. Slightly pursed small lips, an elongated chin, messy protruding hair, pale skin with a pinkish tint. And your symmetrical pinkish dimples on pale cheeks with your sincere smile...  
All this simply warms my chilled soul and makes me believe that in the bright future, in the coming years of a magnificent life, we will definitely get to know each other even closer.

"Things are good?" you ask sharply in your hoarse, as if cold voice.

Those two simple words stirred me uneasily. I imperceptibly to myself slowly blur into a slight smile.  
Yes, it's okay, even better. I have never felt so happy.


	2. Experience anything you need

Another inexhaustible day that will fly by in a split second, leaving a feeling of guilt for human insignificance in a broken heart. The ordinariness of life and all its handful of directions will again seem to be the simplest trick, the performance of which lacks vivid emotions and raging adrenaline. Again these nasty worries that are not important to the whole big indifferent world.

And after all, if you try to think deeply, they will not solve a single global problem of modern mankind from the many unfading ones. Incredibly rarely, due to the rapid running of the clock, exciting topics godlessly settled on the absorbing day of the past centuries. After all, narcissistic people often prefer to follow their clearly marked path, without interfering with the rest, the same small ants, like themselves, only to their small goal, which in fact is not the necessary key that without hesitation will open all tightly locked doors to truth and tolerance.

Depression and severe fatigue from never ending misunderstanding on the part of all people in the near future will die with all of us.

To hell with all this, let it quickly dissolve in the ever-flowing routine of time, remaining somewhere there, behind everything to come.

I only need to tightly chain your magnificent soul in my endless embrace. Do not let you mindlessly fly away on torn wings, lined with time, into the ever-exfoliating stream of vile hypocrisy and dirty sticky lies. To protect you from all this numerous ugliness of the new, wonderful world, in response to your good nature that has no boundaries to my rotten mind. Constantly take care of your physical condition, do not allow you to bend completely and dry out from the constant regime of injecting drugs.

No matter how terrible things happen according to your will, wish you only a mind free from tormenting thoughts. At any cost, help you defeat the terrible and annoying inner demons of pain. To give you the belief in a feeling of complete security, the belief that at the end of a long tunnel with forks there will certainly be a dim but pleasant and welcome light.

Sincerely believe that in your hard life, a person who will enjoy every second spent next to you in absolutely any way and love you as incredibly deeply as I love you, will meet ahead on the way.


	3. Afraid of never knowing fear

My thin hands do not stop shaking violently, and salty, transparent tears do not stop streaming from my already reddened eyes.

Never, absolutely never, in my wretched, aimless essence, have I felt so depressed and devastatingly empty for my own mind. A broken state of hopelessness through what is happening, but at the same time a pitiful endless denial of what happened. At first, I was damn strongly offended by your unexpected and abrupt action, which made me and all your poor loved ones suffer painfully and live out boring years of life with an endless sense of dirty guilt. But after a short period of endless time, I began to thoughtlessly reproach myself for what had happened. I promised myself that I would tenderly and diligently take care of your fragile moral and unstable physical health.

But I absolutely could not...  
I could not gently force you to believe in a bright future, to return the happy life that you so lacked in the last months of your life. And now, at this moment, I desperately have to pay for it with my bitter suffering. And in no way do I feel sorry for myself, blindly blaming the victim for what happened. Rather, on the contrary, I powerfully beat myself for all this, forcing the obsessive thoughts that have no boundaries to scroll over and over again in my head in a black and white film of memories. I am really crushed by the harmful sadness that does not go into the emptiness of life after death, and the weariness that presses on the discharge of events and countless cells of the body.

Only slightly remembering all this and once again carefully weighing the details, I decided to ease my own feelings a little and opened a half-empty liter bottle of red wine. Nothing completely prevented me from drinking something that gave a tougher high and relaxation, but still it was this alcohol that gave me a feeling of lightness and intangibility. I gulped greedily at the crimson translucent liquid until my mind was visited by a stunning moment from the past.

Late at night, when the bright moon, from which all the available light emanated, had long overshadowed the dark sky, we sat in the same way in my kitchen and drank exactly the same bitter red wine. Your drunken, but mostly still sober mind generated the most interesting thoughts and ideas, and I just sat electrified and listened to your informative stories. The cool air was filled with a pleasant atmosphere of complete security and special calmness. Not a single disturbing thought crept into my currently free head. Everything was perfect...

Gradually returning from the warm memories in my soul to the painful present time, my state of being deeply oppressed became more frantic. Without giving myself any account and guided only by the fits of anger that appeared, I sharply threw this unfortunate bottle at the wall that was closest to me, as if it was a glass insensitive vessel that was to blame for everything that happened.  
An endless number of shards scattered to smithereens throughout the kitchen, and the scarlet drink remaining at the bottom splashed into drops on the torn wallpaper. Some debris hit my hand, leaving shallow cuts on it, but that didn't bother me much. My thoughts were filled only with an incomprehensible anger that had no boundaries against myself. I was insanely worried only about my guilt for the premature death of this person close to me.

I should have known!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my English. Please leave comments, they make me happy and inspire :^)


End file.
